Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:
Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.
Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken. The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.
At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates. While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.
A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.
The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.
The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.
Tina Fey talking about her daughters Alice and Penelope
why do people still say “frickle frackle”. you can say the word sex, no one’s gonna take away your juice box and send you to timeout
heck you fricker
thats it, no more fruit punch for meta18
what the fuck
Queer people are like birds, all very different but with one common goal:
Bread. Hundreds of tons of bread.
THE LAST EPISODE OF FUTURAMA 1999 - 2013
anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “not to you”
why are people so caught up in romanticizing the past? romanticize the future. there will be robots and slightly more equality
a Frozen AU where everything is the same except Elsa is inexplicably into puns for some reason
Elsa seems to be pretty awkward at these parties, so I would understand if she uses these puns to….break the ice.
Can we just take a minute to talk about the fact that Elsa is twenty-one years old. Like, if she lived in America today she would spend Saturday nights bar-hopping with eight of her closest friends, she’d be too young to rent a car, maybe she would still get carded going into rated R movies, but here she is, she’s just be crowned queen, she struggles with depression, anxiety, and childhood trauma, she’s been without any sort of guidance for three years and hasn’t spoken to anyone other than her parents in thirteen, she has this sister who she loves more than anything in the world and whom she feels like she has to take care of but she can’t go anywhere near her, she has to govern a country when she probably doesn’t even know how people work anymore, and she has these ice powers that she can’t control, not to mention she’s been told she was a danger to society for most of her life. She’s this twenty-one year old kid with the weight of the world on her shoulders.
Like, one person can’t feel all that. They’d explode.
so I’ve just discovered soundrown, it’s sort of like rainymood except there’s 10 different sounds that you can listen to and combine to create whatever sort of environment you want (i.e. campfire and night, which is quite lovely)
are you telling me i could listen to the sound of a coffee shop on fire